MiPants

My iPhone easily slips in and out of the ample cargo pants pockets

When I purchased my iPhone in August, 2008, I was confronted with an unforeseen dilemma. I had been keeping my aging cell phone in the glove compartment of my car in case of emergency and to check to see if I needed to pick up milk, eggs or bread from the store. The iPhone was, however, more than just a cell phone. I wanted to carry it with me all the time but I found that I had no room in my usual Levis for the new device.

I couldn’t put it in my back pocket for fear of breaking it and I couldn’t figure out a way to rearrange things without having Giant Pocket Bulges. Years ago I quit wearing my wallet in the rear pocket due to tightened “homeland” security and comfort.

I considered several solutions to my pocket predicament. I noticed that many men, like 21st century cowboys, sported the Cell Phone Holster. Having strapped on a leather sheath for my 8″ hunting knife back in my Boy Scouting days, I knew that anything hanging from my belt would just get in my way. Also, the iPhone comes with ear buds, cord and charger that I would need to carry with me. A Cell Phone Holster would have to be fairly large to carry everything. I had also seen men wearing those Fanny/Belt Packs but they would also be too bulky. The Cell Phone Holster and the Fanny/Belt Packs were not for me.

Next, I pondered procuring a Messenger Bag. Such a carryall would certainly hold all my new accouterments. The fact that I knew I would get teased by at least two of my male friends for carrying what they would certainly refer to as a “Man Purse” didn’t bother me. I have spent quite a bit of time in Europe; enough so that I feel comfortable greeting a European male acquaintance in the French or Italian manner with a brief kiss on one or both cheeks. I know many European men who sport the authentic black or brown leather European Men’s Shoulder Bag and at one point in my life, I came very close to owning one. Although tempting, for me there are two reasons for not going with the Messenger Bag. First, it’s not that much different from the backpack I currently use, which I find to be too cumbersome to carry with me all the time. The second reason is that, for a man of my advancing years, it is too easily forgotten in airports, restaurants and emergency rooms.

Finally I hit upon the perfect solution. It dawned on me that I simply needed more pockets. Where could I get more pockets? Cargo Pants! Cargo Pants! Cargo Pants! For years I had seen my high school students wearing Cargo Pants, often in strange, unappealing colors and patterns–even camouflage but at the risk of dressing like a teenager, the idea of maximum pocketization was the solution I sought.

I headed to the local Mega Mall and soon discovered that Cargo Pants came in a wide variety of styles and colors. I purchased two pair immediately. When I got home, I spent valuable time carefully deciding upon my new pocket protocol. It’s now second nature: keys and loose change in the top right pocket; Leatherman (with pliers and bone saw) and wallet in the top left pocket; clip-on sunglasses in the lower right pocket; iPhone and zippered mini-bag for accessories in the lower left pocket. I can tell by weight and feel if I’m missing anything. In order to keep from bending over to retrieve things from the lower cargo pockets, I have perfected the Low Level Leg Lift, where, in one fluid movement, I raise a knee, reach in and rapidly pluck out my sunglasses or iPhone without ever breaking stride.

The right side of my bedroom closet is now filled with nothing but Cargo Pants. I have Everyday Cargo Pants, Cargo Work Pants and I even have some Semi-formal Black Cargo Pants that I wear when photographing weddings and other special events. The Levis are all but gone and I am completely satisfied with my wardrobe makeover. From the beginning, my iPhone has always been with me thanks to the extra pockets in MiPants.